prayer

God Winks

Since September of 2023, I have been going through cancer treatment and dealing with all the side effects associated with treatment and having had an extensive digestive surgery. I have also researched so much about cancer and where to go for information on clinical trials. Though out this journey, many times I have felt alone. Unless you have been down this road, you cannot understand this never-ending mental and physical rollercoaster.

However, I know God has always been by my side even if sometimes I don’t feel like He is there. One of the ways I know He is with me are through “God winks”. These are things that happen during the day that cannot be explained or a coincidence. For example, a friend sends me a devotion or text with a verse that is just what I needed to hear. I get in my car to go to an appointment and a song comes on the radio as I start my car and the words are spoken from heaven inspiring strength and courage, and sometimes the struggles we all face. God is there too.

In May, I drove from Atlanta to Nashville to The Sara Cannon Cancer Institute. During my drive, there were 2 separate billboards – one said “God is good all the time” and the other said “God will never leave you or forsake you”. I also noticed numerous crosses along the way. Last week I had a CT scan. The lovely technician told me she was praying for me during the scan. Not to mention so many family and friends constantly lifting me up in prayer. God speaks to us in many ways. It can be in a song, a text, friends, family, church, His word, prayer and even our intuition which I believe is the Holy Spirit. I am never alone and neither are you. We just have to open our hearts to the peace He offers us every second.

Finding God In My Cancer Journey

From the beginning of my journey with cancer, I have experienced God’s presence in the good and bad days. My best friend calls these moments “God winks”. He lets us know He is present and is with us in each step we take. A text from a friend at just the right time or hearing a song with words that touch my heart and relate to exactly how I am feeling or what I am going through. I have read devotions as if God has me wrapped up in His arms and is whispering the words in my ear. I have experienced these things and so many others throughout my journey.

I recently experienced a miracle. My recent PET scan came back with an area of concern which indicated a possible recurrence. My doctors informed me I would need a MRI to determine exactly what was going on. I reached out to everyone I knew and asked for prayers. As I lay in the bore (enclosed MRI tube), I felt complete peace. I felt and envisioned prayers like rain drops falling all over me and covering me. When I received the results of the MRI, each line read “no evidence of recurrence”. I knew this was certainly a miracle. I think the miracle is also that so many people love and care for me, and prayed so fervently. I have known so much love in my life. Loving others and the blessings that come with that is such a gift from God.

God does not always answer our prayers for healing and it’s hard to understand why some people are healed and others are not. The cancer journey is one of fear and uncertainty. But what I have come to know about God is that He always does what is best for us to bring us closer to Him. His love for us is unfathomable. He walks with us through our suffering. So I will continue on this journey and will be grateful for all the God winks and the miracles I have experienced in my life. His presence and peace is with us every moment, we just need to look for it.