This week while I was at the infusion center one of my new friends had a very serious medical emergency. Witnessing this during something as personal and emotionally charged as my chemotherapy infusion was a deeply jarring and surreal experience. I already feel I am in a vulnerable state – physically from the infusion and emotionally from the weight of my own illness. The room suddenly shifted from quiet perseverance to one of immediate crisis.

At first I wasn’t sure what was happening. As the nurses were rushing and 911 was being called, I still struggled to process that my new friend’s life was at risk right in front of me. Suddenly this cheery, quiet room was filled with urgency: sharp commands, the crash cart being wheeled from it’s dusty corner and the hurried movement of staff trying to save a life.

This reality hit me like a wave: this isn’t just something I read about or saw on TV. It’s happening here, in this room, to someone who has sat in the same chair as me. Someone who I sat and talked with the day before, someone who has a family, someone I rode in the elevator with 30 minutes before. I think of my own vulnerability, how fragile life is, especially in a place where everyone is already fighting for survival.

I also feel so helpless. I felt like I should do something or, at the least, leave the room but I was tethered to my IV line, facing my own battle. The dichotomy of life and death playing out so vividly in one place was overwhelming.

A few days have passed since this tragic event but the images replay in my mind: the stillness of my friend, the urgent efforts of the team, the uncertainty of what happens next. I feel shaken, it’s all a visceral reminder of mortality. I am also grateful for nurses and doctors who fight so hard for their patients. I am extremely blessed with wonderful doctors and nurses.

In that moment, I witnessed both the fragility of life and the strength of those fighting to preserve it. It was a sobering, life-altering experience. I am thankful I know my Father in heaven, as did my friend. I will see her again one day.