Finding Purpose Through Giving Back

Since September of 2023, my life has consisted of appointments with various doctors sometimes involving travel, medical procedures with and without anesthesia, labs for all different purposes, visits to the hospital/ER, 3 rounds of chemotherapy, radiation and the Whipple surgery which has forever changed my digestive system. I am on all sorts of medication; some I will take for the rest of my life. There are days I feel pretty good and others I need to rest. I often forget what it feels like to be a normal human being. Cancer has forever changed my life. Did I want a cancer diagnosis and put myself and my family through this? Of course not but I have certainly learned so many things during this journey that has positively affected my life.

I have met and seen so many people going through similar cancer journeys whom have not been as fortunate as myself either with their treatment or their outcome. I have also had many people reach out to me to share their own stories and/or hear mine. One way I stay connected to normal life is to give back any way I can. This provides me with a sense of purpose and shifts my focus from my struggles to gratitude. It also blesses me beyond words. Giving back does not have to be grand or time-consuming; even the smallest efforts can make a difference, both in my life and in the lives of others.

Sending a text, email or handwritten note to someone you know in need; making a phone call when you know a friend needs to talk or just provide a listening ear; sharing my story with someone else may help that person feel a connection when going through the same thing or something similar; buying coffee/tea for a stranger or giving a compliment; giving or sharing a book/devotion/song that is an inspiration or blessing in my life; spending an hour helping someone in need or volunteering at a charity close to your heart. Many of these kindnesses have been shown to me and have helped me to keep moving in the right direction. God uses other people to show His love and there is nothing more rewarding.

With Lent right around the corner, my pastor has a wonderful idea; instead of giving up something this year, why not give back something every day of Lent. I know I have so many things around my home that I haven’t used or worn in years which could really help someone else. All these things are very small acts of kindness and some don’t even involve leaving your home. Maybe a smile is all someone needs to change the outcome of their day. You don’t know what someone might be dealing with. What an easy way to take the focus off myself and be blessed in the process.

Finding Peace in Nature

I grew up in Florida and the beach was always a favorite spot to spend time with my family and friends. Breathing the ocean air leads to feelings of relaxation and well-being. The consistent and gentle sound of the ocean waves also reduce stress and anxiety. The rise and fall of the ocean tide symbolizes the highs and lows I have experienced in my life; change, consistency, and transformation.

I also love the mountains. Mountains embody qualities of strength, stability, endurance, and the majesty of God. The plant life, distinctive sounds, and unique scents offer peace and tranquility.

I cannot always go to the ocean or to the mountains, especially during treatments, but I can get a lot of those same experiences in my backyard. Nature is another wonderful gift of God and allows us to experience His peace and presence just by stepping outside. What a blessing!

Finding God In My Cancer Journey

From the beginning of my journey with cancer, I have experienced God’s presence in the good and bad days. My best friend calls these moments “God winks”. He lets us know He is present and is with us in each step we take. A text from a friend at just the right time or hearing a song with words that touch my heart and relate to exactly how I am feeling or what I am going through. I have read devotions as if God has me wrapped up in His arms and is whispering the words in my ear. I have experienced these things and so many others throughout my journey.

I recently experienced a miracle. My recent PET scan came back with an area of concern which indicated a possible recurrence. My doctors informed me I would need a MRI to determine exactly what was going on. I reached out to everyone I knew and asked for prayers. As I lay in the bore (enclosed MRI tube), I felt complete peace. I felt and envisioned prayers like rain drops falling all over me and covering me. When I received the results of the MRI, each line read “no evidence of recurrence”. I knew this was certainly a miracle. I think the miracle is also that so many people love and care for me, and prayed so fervently. I have known so much love in my life. Loving others and the blessings that come with that is such a gift from God.

God does not always answer our prayers for healing and it’s hard to understand why some people are healed and others are not. The cancer journey is one of fear and uncertainty. But what I have come to know about God is that He always does what is best for us to bring us closer to Him. His love for us is unfathomable. He walks with us through our suffering. So I will continue on this journey and will be grateful for all the God winks and the miracles I have experienced in my life. His presence and peace is with us every moment, we just need to look for it.

Gratitude

In January of 2025, I started my third round of chemotherapy. It has been the hardest month both physically and mentally. Dealing with cancer is a constant world of unpredictability and having a will to keep fighting even when you are completely worn out.

Practicing gratitude during my cancer treatment has helped me psychologically and physically. Here is a list of some of the many things I am so very thankful for.

  1. The unwavering support from family and friends who stand by me offering prayers, love and assistance in my journey.
  2. The physicians, nurses and medical staff whom God has placed in my life.. They strive to give me the best medical care possible.
  3. The progress that is being made everyday in cancer treatment.
  4. Small, joyful moments that bring light during challenging times, such as a kind gesture, a beautiful day or my dog laying next to me when I don’t feel well.
  5. Appreciating every day, even with its ups and downs.
  6. New friends I have met on similar journeys as myself and the support we give each other.
  7. Creating memories even if it is something as simple as snuggling, reminiscing, watching a movie or sharing stories that brings laughter.
  8. My relationship with God and His Word which is hope-filled and life giving.